Nerf Wars
by NobleCaliber
Summary: Juliet's nephews come to visit. When they challenge Shawn and Gus to a Nerf War, things might get ugly. And a pizza deliveryman might be scarred for life by the antics of grown men with plastic firearms. Virtually plotless, cavity-causingly fluffy.


In celebration of the upcoming premiere, I had to write this mindless, fluffy oneshot, completely plot-free, that's been tumbling around in my head.

Because who doesn't love a nice dose of Shules fluff with a side of Gus and children?

Still don't own it. You don't have to rub salt in the wound.

/|\

Light footsteps were the key to going unnoticed by your enemy. Stay low, make no noise. Watch your shadow. Shawn creeps down the hall, Gus right behind him. They stay close to the wall.

Pausing where the main hall of his and Juliet's home turns into the open living area, Shawn peeks carefully around the corner, exposing as little of his head as possible. He searches for figures in the near darkness.

Three are easy; as armatures, they become inpatient and look around, giving away their position. The fourth is good, though. She lies in wait, content to drift around in the unknown in order to remain unseen.

Turning to his partner, Shawn details where the three identified targets lie in wait of them, voice barely audible, even to himself. "Dude, Drake's behind the far arm of the couch, Finn's in the kitchen, and Isaac is under the table."

"Okay, Shawn, here's what we're gonna do. I'll run and take cover behind the column in the foyer; you just go to the kitchen and take Finn out."

"Good plan. And… GO!" Shawn flies across the tile, ducking into the kitchen and it's sheltering bar, firing off two bullets at the small form crouched there. Both let off a whooshing sound as the pressure is released and the foam flies at the child.

"Darn it!" the kid cries, hopping up on the kitchen counter. "I'm out!" he calls to his teammates.

Threat eliminated, Shawn searches the area for Juliet. Spotting movement, he makes his way towards it until he sees a swish of her blonde hair. He allows himself a small cocky smile, and then continues to sneak up on her.

"Any last words?" a voice calls dramatically, followed by the cocking of a Nerf gun.

"Uh, Shawn? A little help?" Shan lifts his head from his approach on his crouching girlfriend, seeing that Gus has joined a Mexican standoff. He, Drake, and Isaac stand close together, both boys pointing small single-shot pistols at Gus, the man pointing a gun at each, a whirring automatic revolver at one and a mid-sized gun at the other.

Smiling slyly, Shawn gently leans down to grab Juliet's forearm. She startles, as she was so focused on what was happening in front of her to notice Shawn come up behind her. She spins around, gun aimed for his forehead, but he quickly grabs the barrel of the gun, twists it away, and fills the space with his own, the worn plastic resting in the divot of her clavicle.

She shoots him a dirty look and he smiles innocently back.

"_Shawn!_" Gus cries again.

"I got'cha, buddy." He leads Juliet into the group's eyesight. "Hey boys, let my partner go!" he demands, removing the gun from her chest to fire it at their feet, missing purposely by inches, just so he can dramatically cock it again.

Guns unwavering, the kids turn their heads to him and, at seeing their teammate in distress, both remove yet another gun from their endless stash of faux firearms and foam bullets that hang from their shoulders, pointing them at him.

Shawn quickly pulls Juliet to his chest, shielding him from the line of fire. Using the same arm as holds the gun to keep her there, he raises his opposite hand, which still holds her gun, and aims it at one of the boys. He moves the other gun, still resting gently where her shoulders meet her neck, to under her chin, applying easy pressure. She complies for dramatic effect, turning her face towards the ceiling.

The group stands silent for a moment, guns resting in midair, each challenging the next to pull the trigger.

So suddenly that each nearly hits the roof in surprise, the doorbell rings, and a teenage boy looks skeptically through the screen door at the group as he holds a stack of pizza boxes.

"Dinner!" Finn chimes, which surprises them even more as, in the moment, they had forgotten him.

All guns fall swiftly down to hang at their holder's side and Juliet walks calmly to the door, though the deliveryman is still staring slack-jawed at them, as if he's opened his parents' bedroom door late at night to find something he shouldn't have. He recites what they owe the company without a thought and Juliet wonders exactly how much of their little game he saw.

Shawn pops up next to her, handing the boy the money, plus a conservatively generous tip for what he's borne witness to (Although, Gus has walked in on worse since Shawn and Juliet started living together…).

"Let's eat!" Shawn says, dramatically holding the boxes over his head as he makes his way to the table, Juliet's three nephews training behinds him like a row of ducklings.

Gus grabs a small stack of paper plates from the pantry, Juliet pulls a pitcher of lemonade from the fridge and snags a stack of cups from the counter and they all sit down for a lovely dinner of delivered pizza and lemonade (and ice cream).

"This isn't over!" Isaac announces after the meal has been finished and they all settle down on the pair of couches in the living room to watch a movie together.

"You know that's right," Gus chimes in through a mouthful of popcorn.

"There'll be plenty of time for the next battle of the Nerf wars tomorrow," Juliet says, pressing _play_ on the DVD player (Shawn had _misplaced_ the remote and it was yet to be found). She turns to find a seat, but the couch is almost full capacity. Shawn quickly fixes this, simply pulling her down onto his lap.

Gus rolls his eyes and they boys are already too engrossed in the latest Transformers movie to notice, so Juliet simply settles back into Shawn's chest and allows his arms to snake around her waist as he rests him chin on her shoulder to watch the movie.

/|\

Not sure I like the ending, but I ended it in like four different places and kept adding more or taking it off and I finally just picked a place to stop.

Even mindless oneshots need love via reviews!


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